Love is love. We fantasize about love, we would believe that love is perfect and that the happy every after we see after a romantic cartoon or a movie will end well and that our relationship will be the best one, and no one, time, expectations and our personal growth can kill it.
My parents have been married for 60 years and 9 months and something. Then dad died last Nov 2.
And for mom is hard obviously.
Personally I am still single because I idealize love a lot giving to it expectations and perfection. I grew up with the movie by Norah Ephron and it says a lot. My favorite one is When Harry met Sally but also Sleepless in Seattle, You've got Mail are fantastic and I remain of the idea that although the most recent cynical pieces regarding When Harry met Sally, these love are not impossible. Nora Ephron was romantic in her screenplays but also pretty connected with the reality.
A long premise, because it was pretty interesting to read How to fall in love with anyone by Mandy Len Catron. Mandy was selected, chosen by the New York Times section Modern Love with the article: "To fall in love with anyone, Do This," one of the most clicked articles of 2015 with millions of visualizations in the world. After this beautiful experience the idea of writing a book in essays about love and what it is love.
But the book by Mandy wants to be to her also a self-therapy for the traumatic experience lived by her once their parents decided to split up after a long marriage. The author remembers the perfection of this love-story she loved to tell to anyone. His dad was the coach, her mom the reporter of the school magazine. They fell in love during an interview. A never-ending love. Their parents wouldn't never increased the sad percentage of divorced couples because her parents were perfect, their love perfect, their times perfect.
Unfortunately when their fairy-tale ended Mandy felt a lot of sadness and I think also the incapacity of sorting out this loss. Because a dying love means a loss and if we want the failure of a couple and more of a life-project. Mandy felt all of it and started to read compulsively books and magazines about love.
Mandy didn't accept any new start of her parents too devastated for what happened to them: her dream of a perfect world where harmony would have reigned forever was broken and although time passed by this situation was lived by her with great internal conflict.
At the same time we will also follow Mandy and her love-story for Kevin, long ten years. A love-story of habits, of expectations, but also radical differences.
We will see thanks to her the online dating communities. We will discover the new phase she lived as single, and then the re-discovery of love.
We will see how Hollywood lives love now.
Love is not anymore analyzed at the beginning the most beautiful phase, but in its pains, sufferance, maturity, problematic that there are in a couple. The first meeting is not anymore important to Hollywood and Nora Ephron is dead as well...
Intelligent book, sad because of course the author would have wanted a different end, but sometimes a terrible end is the beginning of something else.
Like this book is! A bad experience brought to Mandy notoriety, the possibility of sharing in a lot of prestigious places her thoughts and this one is positive and it will be a great new start to her.
I thank NetGalley and Simon&Schuster for this eBook.
Anna Maria Polidori